Husbands, God and horses.
My husband and I have a pact: “I want what you want.” We have grown our relationship by this philosophy.
Wanting another’s well-being as much as our own is a spiritual practice. It can bring the natural, universal connection—Life, into play in all our relationships.
It would seem that 12 inches is a long distance when moving from our heads, into our hearts. But there’s no doubt the effects of such a shift are unimaginably rich. The truth in the magic of this shift in perspective cannot be taught, but it can be realized.
As Ray Hunt said, “I can’t teach this I can only make you aware of it.”
I hope by sharing how this type of realization is experienced, I can bring awareness to this underrated, overlooked gem.
Yesterday as I was walking to the barn I was appreciating all the scents after the hard rain. It’s been a dry hot summer and the ground openly drank in the moisture. The damp earth was scented in a rich pine fragrance. I felt such awe. I realized viscerally—I want what God wants.
I use the word God, to describe all creation that is not of man. The natural world without our influence. I have learned, in no uncertain terms, not only the effectiveness of such awesome power but also the freedom within it.
I think it is the AA program that is known for the phrase “Let go and let God.” This kind of faith-lived life is not just a cliché, it is truly accessible.
This is not religious doctrine. In fact it’s quite obvious we have the choice. We don’t have to look far to see the separation (especially in our country today) and the destruction that is caused by man thinking man knows best.
It was one of those moments where I remember right where I was on the road as I had the realization—I want what God wants!
It was like a light had been lit. It shined in all the corners of my awareness and cleared up so much residual. It was a true realization.
I have been peeling away the layers of attachment and control for decades. And as Wayne Dyer would say, “There’s nothing more powerful than an idea whose time has come.”
I got to the barn wearing on my lips what I call a “Buddha smile”. And as I rode my horse, this feeling continued to permeate all my actions. I realized once again, the horse is a symbol for my life. I expanded on the sensation…
I want what the horse wants!!!
This was never more clear!
Everything that I’ve been doing has been leading to this deeper understanding. And on this day it led my every step once again, the horse held the mirror.
As Grace and I traveled with what seemed to be effortless unity, our ideas naturally blended. In the last couple of weeks, Grace had found the elegance of moving forward on her own. To achieve this she explored the areas of the arena in the way she needed to.
I’ve never been so aware of the horse’s needs as I have been this last week. Watching Grace explore and contemplate and then, when she had sufficient experience, move out with a beautiful and ceaseless flow, straight ahead and down the rail. No ride ever felt so good. I really witnessed the value of the experience and of the time we gave it.
So yesterday I decided to see if that same flow would follow us off the rail and into a large circle in the middle of the arena without a wall dictating the line.
My teacher always said, “There is a line out there in front of you and the horse knows it’s there.”
I drew a large circle in the sand, within my own mind and looked to see if Grace would find it. I believed in her and in this deeper truth that I had experienced while I was walking into the barn.
There are no words for the feeling that I experienced as we trotted along effortlessly of one mind. Grace actually lowered her head to the ground as if sniffing out that line I had drawn in my mind. I simply pointed it out by asking her to travel on it. Then left her to do her part, her way. I was giggling like a schoolgirl with a crush. As she explored and ultimately found and travelled that very line.
Each and every ride I hear myself say, “What could be more important than this?” To have the experience, especially in a developing youngster, that creates unity is truly what building a harmonic relationship is all about.
I share this here, not as a method of training, but as a metaphor for life. If just for one moment, we considered how the world would change if we all worked together to see the line that God built. We would see this invisible natural flow in nature’s true unity. This flow is real, it is effective, and it is awe inspiring. And, For the most part, it is the complete opposite of how man runs his world. We can make this shift, but we have to know it’s possible. The only way to know it, empirically, is to live it.
Try it. Have the experience of blending with another. Perhaps start with someone you deeply love and trust, then advance to another species, or even an opposing intellect. What could be more opposing than predator and prey? And yet horses show us the endless potential.
As I mentioned in Perfect Practice:
“Horses are spiritual enough to hold the presence of forgiveness for the world in which they live—and powerful enough to show us the value in harmony.”
What unending gifts come from a simple pact of “I want what you want”. What a beautiful marriage, what a lovely ride, and what an awesome world to experience.