“The way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.”
As I have uncovered my own heart, I have come to deeply appreciate the purpose of “Relationship“.
How often in this busy day to day life do we stop moving long enough to recognize the quality of our relationships?
Honestly we have a relationship with everything we contact. It’s obvious within our inner circle; our marriage, family, and friends. And now even more and more folks recognize they have a relationship with their horses, or pets.
But how about seeing how we relate to the world at large? Or, even deeper, to life itself. What of the relationship with our own true nature?
I feel that the focus of developing good relationships with others is putting the cart before the horse. I often say, “Nothing leaves its source“. To be consistent and to live a life that is fulfilled and fulfilling we must learn to give and to receive. All too often we are conditioned to project outward. Therefore receiving love can go unpracticed.
I used to say “Our eyes are pointing the wrong direction.” It takes a dedication to a holistic view to see inwardly and outwardly simultaneously. And this, we need to do to knock down the barriers of separation.
Separation is the fall from grace that creates the suffering that humans endure.
It’s simple to see the difference when we feel separate from a race, religion, political party, or even a philosophical belief. But do we see when we separate from the beloved? Do we recognize when even, we leave ourselves?
If we don’t, then how can we be present for another? And what is the quality and reliability in our relationships?
We are the source of every encounter. We are the common denominator in our lives. I wrote in Perfect Practice that:
“Living life from a merely physical perspective is like driving a car while looking at the steering wheel.”
We don’t realize what is driving our life or our relationships. It’s very easy to get lost and even drive right off the road, never realizing our own part in the wreck.
Horses have been my guru.
Horses have created the curriculum that taught me to look inside. You might say, they popped my hood! And I have loved the mechanics of relationship ever since.
In horses and in life the relationship is what drives the experience. And if 50% of that equation is unaware of the source that moves it, it stands to falter or at the very least, suffer.
The effects are not the cause.
I see on a regular basis that people sell themselves short. They give their power away. Sometimes it’s to a method, technique, religion, or even luck. We have the gift of free will. We choose thousands of times a day, even.
Each choice maps our course. Often we say, this book, or course, or teacher really changed my life. I too, revere my teachers, yet without my willingness to learn and my recognition of the value in the curriculum it would fall to dust.
My guru says “The greatest salesman in the world can’t sell you something if you’re not buying”.
When do we take responsibility and ownership for our relationships? When do we cease becoming victims of circumstance?
When we realize the source of life is within us!
When we turn our eyes around and look inside.
And when we look, we find.
When we drop internal negative opinions we soon find love. We realize that this is the one net that catches everything. If we are free internally we are free.
Conditions still exist. We still feel grief, sorrow, confusion, and yes… even resistance. The monumental difference is that we see, that it is the weather of our life, not our life itself. We know instantly that the storm clouds pass.
And most importantly, we don’t take it personally. We weather the storm, we are not a victim or the cause of it.
In this way we are free.
This freedom then begins to transform the world we see. Animals want to be near us. Our marriages and friendships deepen. Our livelihood becomes a blessing. Our choices are more subtle and our lives more spontaneous.
And then… we sense Grace. The grace that has carried us all along, but we hadn’t noticed. A grace that moves the seas, that warms our earth and beats our hearts. We begin to see that life really does take care of its own. And each day all is provided.
We can even begin to understand death. We can look to nature for answers. We can observe a doe who lost her fawn and empathize from an open, untainted mind. We see from the “one mind”, the mind that sees the cycle of life as natural.
The toughest lessons are now recognized as gifts. Because through each course, we peel the layers that kept us blocked, that kept us from ourselves and, that kept us separate… even from those we love.
The mastery of life is simple. The road home can be complex.
We’ve been away a long time. But with each step of the journey we find, we never really left. We simply believed we had. And as we travel our life is filled with purpose. Even the mundane is divine! Our relationships become real. And we offer truth within them.
Life is a relationship. And within it Love is recognized. Love is the source of life.
So at last we come full circle. At last we are free to be the Love…to be the source.