I was visiting with my friend the other day about the sensation of “spectacular!”
This sensation is at the core of so many desires. We are not really looking for that right job, home, or partner. We are looking for the sensation of spectacular! The mind robs us of our honest quest when it draws our attention to the details of our outcomes.
This is how dependency progresses. And I can very easily show you how this works. Everything that happens is a temporary experience. The world, our lives, our bodies, emotions and thoughts are constantly changing. When we hinge our success to an outcome we are unwittingly attaching ourselves to a temporary result. It is at its best a failed system.
When our feelings depend on something, someone, or on any external circumstances, we will have to continuously micromanage those circumstances in order to feel consistent success. And as I described, at the root of the desire for success, is the desire to feel spectacular. The pathway of the seeker is not to find. The pathway of the seeker is to seek ever more.
I have come to a place where I clearly see that feeing great is an inside job. It requires a total shift of perspective. And as I said in Perfect Practice:
“We can shift our perspective and change our world.“
Success becomes the out breath of feeling great. It is the natural born moment of joy, and feeling spectacular. Do we really care that much about what we do, when we feel great. We can be sitting on a bus, or in front of an ocean.
It’s a little like falling in love. When we first realize we are head over heels in love, every thought is circulated around that sensation. Our steps are lighter, our eyes are full of sparkle and we feel inspired and excited.
When we fall in love with life this “love” permeates every experience. Rather than our life being dependent on an experience to make us feel good. This subtle difference is one of the most significant changes we can realize.
I experience this on a daily basis with my horses. Here’s a great example (see VIDEO clip). Recently I shared how my young horse, Grace, was developing some unfortunate habits in the arena. She was really resistant to being ridden along the rail. She would dart to the middle, or counter-bend, and bump the walls. She basically was telling me she’d rather be anywhere but there.
I could see that if I continue doing what I had always done which was trying to control the situation, I would just make it worse. This was evident. So I decided to take the conflict out of the discussion. I went back to riding Grace in a halter and one lead rope. And this way there was no way that I was going to micromanage her. I had to find another way to communicate other than control.
Next thing you know we we’re having such a great time. This decision came from an inspired shift of perspective rather than relying on the outcome to make the success. It’s amazing while in conflict if even one of the participants lets go of control the conflict diminishes.
But this takes doing it from the state of Grace, or love, you might say. If I was caught up on what the outcome had to look like I couldn’t have done this with the pure and open mind. I might have gone back to a halter and just made things worse. Because it isn’t what I did that made the difference. It was the dedication to enjoying the time I spend with my horse. It was a dedication to feeling good.
Now I’ve played around with this for a week or so, and I am having more fun than I ever would have had if I was just trotting around the rail. I have learned volumes about how to use less and experience more. My feel and timing is better than it’s ever been. And each ride shows me more about less!
Grace is becoming incredibly light and sensitive. And she’s having a good time doing it. She isn’t burdened and bogged down by demands. Who amongst us feels spectacular when we are living under pressure. I can’t speak for anyone else, but for me, even an intention of control can tarnish my learning frame of mind.
Judgement is a harsh witness.
It is not news to state that creating a successful relationship takes time. But it takes more than time. It takes a sense of feeling spectacular. You know that sense of falling in love?
When I first fell in love with my husband. I was working seven days a week and evenings. I’d been single for many years and had no intention of putting my time into a relationship. In fact, I was convinced that I didn’t have any time to give.
Then when I met Magnus, all of a sudden, all that mattered was being with him. When I fell in love my entire focus shifted. And all the myriad of things that I was doing, that I thought were important, became completely obscured. I put the relationship before all else.
Whether it’s horses or humans this is true. How we feel in our relationships is a barometer to whether or not our investment is temporary or infinite. If we are building our lives (or our relationships) from a basis of accomplishment, then the sensation of greatness will be temporary. And we will most likely become exhausted by always needing to try for the next success.
But when we love what we are doing, then everyday is a natural success. And this feeling of spectacular just continues to expand organically.
I’m not sure what feels better in life than love? For me, it is the only purpose, and from that place spawns a beautiful, successful and effective lifestyle. Resistance creates resistance. Unity is expansion. And as for me and my horse, moving together is a natural result of feeling spectacular.