Mary Corning no conflict

We Don’t Have to Make a Conflict Out of It

The other day Grace was counter-bending at the far wall. We would be coasting along, singing our song and she would cut to the inside of the arena.

For you horse folks out there this is probably a familiar circumstance. Horses are living, breathing, decision-making, creatures. They have desires and as Ray Hunt used to call them “Druthers”. They sometimes would “druther” be somewhere else. This is no different than we are.

Sometimes I am bogged down by chores or commitments and feel low energy and even riding (the thing I love to do the most) feels like a lot to do.

There are even times, as I have become a much better witness of emotions, that I can feel off or down. I have come to recall that emotions come and go just like thoughts.

As I disassociate who I am, with how it feels, life becomes much more gentle.

Instead of trying to control my feelings or micromanage the world I simply witness and adjust. I don’t have to make a big deal out of these feelings! When I don’t feed them they die out naturally.

Grace is 3 years old. And she is a mare with ever changing physiological, emotional and hormonal affects. Although I was surprised about this newfound desire to counter-bend or jet off into the middle of the arena, I didn’t take it as her being wrong. Just the opposite. I saw it as an opportunity to communicate that I was there to support her.

Anyone who is married, or has kids, a boss, a best friend or any kind of ongoing relationship can get the benefit of Grace.

Rather than control and force her to do what she obviously didn’t want to do (which was go straight down the wall and then bend into a corner) I went with her. I too suggested “we get out of there”. I didn’t hold her or box her in.

Grace is a horse after my own heart. And folks here who know my backstory, know I was not a child who would conform But that didn’t mean I wasn’t willing. It meant that I had to understand what was in it for me. And funny enough my horse is the same way.

So Grace and I trotted away together…

The truth was that we were riding in the arena. Meaning wherever we went, we we inadvertently ended up back at the back wall. Therefore when we did, I simply sat quietly and rubbed her neck.

At first she didn’t recognize the subtle change because she still had her strong will in the way. This is no different with human interactions.

When we feel defended, off, boxed in, overworked and overwhelmed we may not immediately welcome a good neck rub. But if the one offering it is empathetic and compassionate it’s not long before we come looking it up.

This is what happened with Grace. It took a little patience and faith. All good relationships do. And soon she was alright already. She floated like silk. I set my hand on my leg and she moved out forward and supple.

Recently on the Warwick Schiller podcast, Warwick asked me what was one message I would like to convey to people if I could. And I said “It’s really not that difficult “. We make life a lot harder than it is.

All our control and ideas of should and should not, just feeds the mind its belief in separation. This separation causes defense and a whole lot of lonesome.

I ride horses for one thing —Unity!
I live this life for one thing —Love!
( I mentioned that on the podcast too.)

Anything that my mind introduces that does not serve these elements is a waste of my time. And wasting time is wasting life.

Life is precious when you know Grace.

May all opportunities offer freedom from separation. May I learn to be part of the cure rather than part of the cause. And may I be abundantly productive for our world. This is the first shift that must take place.

We can stop seeing a hostile world and realize our horse (or our partner) can help us grow and unlearn the conditioning that has been handed down for centuries.

It’s a new world.

The earth is the earth, but our world (and our horse) is what we make of it.

It’s how we see things that creates lasting change. And as for me and my horse, we choose Source over force.

To hear the podcast  mentioned please visit  News & Events 


If this blog resonates with you, please consider reading my book Perfect Practice. You can read an excerpt from the book HERE.

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